Eric Thomas advises Denver couple to discuss towed car dispute after 10-year relationship strain
The columnist suggests the partner's car was his responsibility, and the silence that followed the incident is not a healthy way to handle conflict.
By Jillian Foster ·
A reader identified as "Driving a Wedge Between Us" wrote to columnist R. Eric Thomas about a relationship that has been tested by a towed vehicle. The reader and her partner of 10 years do not live together. The partner visits the reader's home twice a week. The reader rents a house owned by her extended family.
The partner placed a 1962 Chevrolet in the reader's driveway. The vehicle was not operable. The reader also owns a 1974 Vega wagon that was not running. The reader's uncle asked twice when the partner intended to move the Chevrolet. The partner planned to move the car to a friend's facility when space became available.
The reader observed a tow truck driving through the neighborhood on several occasions. While the reader was at work, a doorbell camera notified her of activity in the driveway. She attempted to speak with the people removing the 1962 Chevrolet. She realized one of the workers was her uncle.
The partner could not be reached by phone during the incident. He now refuses to speak to the reader. He blames her for the event. The reader maintains contact with the partner's sister and daughter, but the partner responds to her intermittently.
Thomas wrote that the situation is not irreversible because no one was hurt and nothing was damaged. He stated that the car belonged to the partner, making it his responsibility. He described the near-silent treatment as an unhealthy form of conflict.
Thomas advised the partner to communicate his feelings, such as saying he is upset and cannot talk right now. He suggested the couple have a frank conversation about how the relationship works. Thomas recommended the reader ask for this talk via phone, letter, or in person. He noted that setting boundaries can help preserve the relationship.
The column also featured a response to a college student named "No Home for the Holidays" who worries about family conflict during break. Thomas advised her to be specific about how she wants things to change. He noted that throwing things is violent and screaming is emotionally disruptive. A reader named "Peaceful Family" suggested establishing ground rules before next summer to handle children's behavior during visits.
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